Click + Clack

Banana. (by ignacio_lpm)

On a traffic light green means go and yellow means yield, but on a banana it’s just the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means where the hell did you get that banana at…
- Mitch Hedberg.

Introducing ‘Lite’ - The new way to spell ‘Light’, but with twenty per cent fewer letters. 
- Jerry Seinfeld. 

A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience.

- Miguel de Cervantes. 

There is always a well-known solution to every human problem -neat, plausible, and wrong.

- H. L. Mencken. 

Don’t rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.

- Andy Rooney. 

Some men’s words I remember so well that I must often use them to express my thought. Yes, because I perceive that we have heard the same truth, but they have heard it better.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson. 

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we’d all be millionaires.

- Abigail Van Buren. 

Please give me some good advice in your next letter. I promise not to follow it.

- Edna St. Vincent Millay. 

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

- W.C. Fields. 

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it’s just possible you haven’t grasped the situation.

- Jean Kerr.

To Err is Human. To Arrrr is Pirate.

- Unkonwn. 

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

- Carl W. Buechner. 

¿Will you ever? I don’t think you will ever fully understand how you’ve touched my life and made me who I am. I don’t think you could ever know just how truly special you are that even on the darkest nights you are my brightest star. 

- Erica Jong.

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.

- Jean Giraudoux.